so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
