Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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