Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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