yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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