Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
