Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
