Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize