I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I CAN MOONWALK!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
