No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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