Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
