love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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