piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
