you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
