Umm I'm too high to move.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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