the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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