You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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