you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
