I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
