I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
