I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
