I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
