I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
