I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think I sprained my soul last night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
