Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
