I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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