she was so not down for the gang bang
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
