no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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