He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize