Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
