dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
