If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
