My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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