shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
