I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
