So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
