He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
