if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
