I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
