sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
