i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
