I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
