He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
