everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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