My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Never joke about your clitoris.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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