I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I party with great urgency now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize