Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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