So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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