shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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