My sheets look like a crime scene.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
