she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
