You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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