Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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