Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
