Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
