giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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