I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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