Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The power of my boobs compel you
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
