so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize